Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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