who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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