Me too!
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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