Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
