the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She needs sedatives and a leash
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
