Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Green mimosas i think yes
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
