i don't like sucking hair
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
