Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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