so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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