dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize