We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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