at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
When are your genitals available?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
