just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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