Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
