I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
