Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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