he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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