Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
