It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
