a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
i out mim tonsoeep
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