I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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