Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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