My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize