I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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