I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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