so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
