dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
