Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
