Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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