if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
