my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
