Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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