Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
