How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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