Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
