I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
