i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
A+ Viking dick
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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