i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
