i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
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