Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
