Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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