Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
