I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
