i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
