we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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