I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
