Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
