so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
