he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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