When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We got so high we made milksteak
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
