if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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