how can u be prego again
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
