We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
