i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
