if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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