She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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