At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
