Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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