What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
no you cant smoke seaweed
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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