You really coming over, don't trick.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
