so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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