Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
