I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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