Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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