I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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